singgah tapi tak masuk...

i took some time off from work (ampunn boss..cheq tuang sat nooo).. coz there are questions from those who always drop by my blog why i havent been blogging for quite some time.. bukannya tak mau..tapi i tak tau nak blog kan apa..actually bukan tak tau..tp tak mau...bcoz tak ada rasa nak blogging kan anything yg worth sharing.. pada yg bertanya dan selalu drop by my blog yang nothing much ni..tq ya..saya pun ada drop by u guys punya blog..tp tak tinggalkan footprint..hehe..korang pun baca je kan my blog..takde komen apa2 kan..

insyaallah i'll start blogging again what's goin on in my life ni..actually purpose blog ni is for me to express my self and to share my life..kan saya ni tak ada siapa yg nak share my life..so saya share everything in this blog...kalau ada org nak singgah n masuk..u are most welcome to my humble blog..kalau ada yg singgah tp tak masuk pun terima kasih ya..

pada org tu..mmg saya dah biasa keadaan awak yg busy...dont worry bout me too much..i know u care..i care bout u too...saya selalunya cuma risau bout ur health..yg lain2 tu saya tau awak boleh jaga..dan saya tau apa yg awak risaukan dgn saya..but u dont have to ok...kalau awak rasa rindu kat saya..maknanya masa tu saya rindu kat awak jugak..hehe..it's true kan..bila awak sedang ingat saya..saya pun sebenarnya sedang ingat awak..but u know that already..thanks for trusting me as i do u...saya risaukan awak sbb awak tu bila dah bekerja tak ingat yg lain2 kecuali saya..hehe...thank you ya awak sbb selalu bagi saya curi masa bekerja awak tu..kerja kuat2 ya tp health tu jaga gak tau..saya tau awak ada singgah tp tak masuk kan...am i right M?

duh!!!(part III)

i actually wanted to write this last nite...but i just couldnt..everytime i think about it i felt like crying...saya rasa sebak sgt....saya nak menulis sebab the news i rcvd yesterday morning was the one that i've been waiting for like a month or so...yes, it was good news for me and few others... alhamdulillah...saya rasa sgt2 bersyukur dgn rezeki Allah ni...terima kasih... tp utk sebilangan yang lain..it was sad..bukan saja sedih tp pedih...so me & the others yg rcvd good news tu tak tau sama ada kami patut bergembira atau bersedih...in the end kami duduk diam2 je... seboleh mungkin kami nak menjaga hati mereka jugak... saya sgt faham perasaan mereka ..as i told one of them..there's just no words tu console...

maybe some of you are thinking what am i rattling about ni..mcm mambang mabuk brandi ke hapa..(hehe) well im not... saya cuma nak tekankan..dlm kehidupan ni there's always two sides of everything...mcm ying & yang...mcm happiness & sorrow...mcm black & white... bila ada org bersuka...at the same time ada org berduka...saya sudah melalui dua2 side ni... jd saya faham perasaan berada di sebelah mana2 pihak pun.. di mana2 tpt saya pergi..saya sll menjadi org yg plg tua...so im like a kakak to almost everyone... jd bila 2 org adik2 saya tidak dapat berita yg menggembirakan saya & adik2 yg lain tu ..i was shocked at first..it was so unbelievable to me...it just couldnt be... these two ppl ialah org yg plg rapat dgn saya..org yg selalu saya cari kalau in need...ppl who can listen & support me... 2 org ni jugak yg byk mengajar saya... kerana itulah sedih mereka menjadi pedih di hati saya...i woke up early this morning & did my sembahyang tahjud & sembahyang hajat as usual bila saya tak boleh tido...the diff was...the prayers were especially for them..saya bersyukur sgt2 & gembira dgn apa yg Allah beri ni..tp kegembiraan saya akan lebih berganda kalau 2 org adik2 saya ni dapat share apa yg kami dapat ni jugak...

saya sebenarnya tak tau apa yg boleh saya ckp utk meredakan adik2 saya..whom im sure at this moment sgt2 hiba..sgt2 down...tp saya doakan mereka byk2 bersabar & berdoa pada Allah yg some miracle will happen... lebih byk saya bercakap pasal ni lebih pedih lagi hati ni..lebih pilu lagi mereka... take care ya..

pada adik2 saya yg dpt berita gembira ni..congratulations & good luck! just remember, it wont be getting any easier guys, just getting more tougher! a reminder utk saya jugak... just be passionate with what you do and buat seikhlasnya ya...

the others

gosh!i went into "that" forum & was browsing here & there when i came across this "section" where ppl (like me & others) who have problems in their life that they just couldnt talk bout their problems to ppl closest to them. Instead (like me also...) these ppl find that they are most comfortable talking and exposing their problems to strangers!!! yes, STRANGERS whom they meet in the forum a.k.a CYBER!!! believe it man! Strangers whom they never ever met, strange isnt it?well, in these days not anymore... there are ppl whom you can actually trust even if u just meet them in cyber... same as when u meet someone in this real life.. u'll just have to follow ur instinct & oh boy, u might find it strange but u DO can rely on ur instinct man!

with that in mind (all the instinct thingie..) u still have to be careful when putting ur trust in ppl whom u met in cyberspace.. once u put ur trust in that person, it means u are taking ur own risk.. but as far as instinct goes it seldom lies to u...

back to "that" forum... many ppl are sharing many stories with other ppl...stories of their lives..some stories i have my own "hands-on" experiences... some stories are sounding too much to be truth..but what the heck..its cyber right? whether the stories are true..or just makebelieves..who cares...whats important is those stories shows that im not alone..there are a lot of other ppl just like me..some even have worst fate than me... thats why i always tell myself..if i think that what im going thru is bad..there are actually worse cases out there... thank God i managed to have an amicable ending..i just cannot imagine if my case was prolonged... it would drained me.. n him..n the kids...n everyone around us... but whatever it is..its NOT EASY! that much i can tell u..its never easy isnt it?it has never been! whether its amicable or not..it never has been easy... but for me personally... though it has been tough & rough, i have support from family & friends esp from my tower of strength the 2 Ms... thanks M for being there when i really needed someone that i could trust, thanks for ur precious time that i have taken so much, thanks for sharing my life (or shall i say my unpleasant life), thanks for giving me whatever u've given me so far, thanks for encouraging me to continue with my life and make me realised my self-value, self-respect & most of all thanks so much for just being u, for just suddenly being there whenever i feel like needing u (mcm ada instinct je ..hehe) & D, thanks for accepting me as i am...

to the others out there..life is too precious & too short..make the most of it.. Sometimes Allah take back what He already gave u in order for Him to replace it with something better...pls do not have regrets in your life..for whatever is happening..be it good or bad..there's always a blessing in disguise... just be patient & be strong... and do not bottle up inside when u are facing problems..talk to someone..get someone to listen..take it from me.. it helps ..even if what that someone can do is only listen.. even if that someone is your trusted friend from cyber... again..life's too precious n short...

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